It was a Man's Man's World

   Many Japanese women tell me they want to marry rich men. Sometimes I wish I could marry one myself, but, well, we know what the odds of that ever happening are. Necessity of my gender has forced me instead to try to become successful myself and be satisfied marrying a woman I can love and respect.

   If you suggest to these women that they might fare better trying to succeed themselves, they’ll look at you as if you are insane.

   “It's a man's world,” they’ll say, end of conversation.

   That begs the question of whether Japan truly is a man’s world.

   For one, there are more women than men because so many of you live longer than us guys. Call us the Weaker Sex, if you like.

   Maybe it just seems like a man’s world because you gals aren't trying hard enough.

   Then again, maybe you know what you're doing.

   The typical housewife in Japan controls the purse strings. The poor men work their arses off and what do they get? Complaints from their cold wives and a small allowance that barely allows them the luxury of eating at a fast food chain every once in a while. Meanwhile, their wives are dining with friends at French restaurants, going to their lessons, shopping. Kind of makes you wonder who really is in charge?

   Go into to town and who do you see? Women! Where are the men? Why, they are locked up in their offices working their arses off is where. Go to any culture school in the evening and who will you find? Women! In the department stores and fashionable restaurants, it’s women, women, women.

   Young Japanese women spend their money like sailors on shore leave often because their parents are still supporting them. When they go on dates, the hapless male pay. If a man tries to live like a woman by wearing fashionable clothes and eating out at nice restaurants, he'll be criticized for being a spendthrift. Men in Japan are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

   And if that weren’t bad enough, this so-called Man's World is becoming increasingly off limits to men. There are now women-only hotels, women-only cars on trains, women-only busses, women-only floors in hotels and condominiums. Even some massage parlors and boutiques are off limits to men.

   The beleaguered Japanese male is increasingly being brushed aside and marginalized. No wonder so many of them have lost interest in sex: carnivorous women have turned them into herbivores.

Boys Be Ambitious!

   They say youth is wasted on the young and you need no further evidence of this than the dismal results of an impromptu poll I conducted in some of my classes recently.

   The above is a poll of 39 university sophomores, all boys, at a local national university dedicated to information technology. 28 of them were single at the time of the survey, and, well, when you take into account that the university is only about five percent girls (biologically speaking, that is), it's hard to blame the guys. While there is the occasional knock-out among the co-eds--scarce as hen's teeth, though--the vast majority of women studying at the university will not be winning any beauty contests.

   What surprised me the most was that more than a third (35.9%) had never in their 19-odd years on this planet dated. That's pretty sad.

   You'd think that the situation would be better with women studying English at the famous co-educational private university where I teach part-time, but no, the figures are equally dismal. Of the 18 freshmen girls surveyed, only three had boyfriends. Two met their sweethearts in high school; the third was introduced to hers only a few months ago by a friend. Two claimed to be "lovey-dovey" at the time of they survey.

   In this class and another freshman class there was a handful of boys, as rare a commodity as girls at the public engineering college mentioned above. Nevertheless, none of lads had a lassie they could warm themselves with in the coming months of autumn and winter.

   A year ago, I invited a Nepali student at the engineering school and now a good friend of mine named Adi to come down to Fukuoka to observe some of my classes at the private university. I had the girls ask him questions--where are you from, why are you in Japan, what is your hobby, and so on--first. Later it was Adi's turn to ask the questions. He pointed to one of the few boys among the third year English literature students and asked if he had a girlfriend. No was the answer.

   Adi came down on the guy like a ton of bricks: "Shame on you! Man, you're surrounded by women and you haven't got a girlfriend? Shame on you!"

   The boy hung his head in defeat.

   Adi was right, of course.

   Yesterday morning, I asked the three boys (English Lit. majors) in my freshman class at the private university if any of them had girlfriends. None did. When class ended, I took the boys aside and said, "You're all reasonably good-looking. I mean it. When you're surrounded by women like this, there is no reason why you shouldn't have two or three girlfriends each. Seriously. So, I'm giving you some homework: get a girl before next Monday's class."

   "Will we fail the class if we don't?"

   "No, of course not. You'll still get an A, but you'll fail in life."

   One of the services I provide these hopeless boys is to show them what women are looking for in a partner. In the above, I asked the boys what they thought girls wanted. Then, I asked the girls what they were hoping to find in a boyfriend. It's funny that so many of them said chose "kindness" but, as I told the boys, girls will run all over you if you're too kind. Be cold, distant, uninterested, aloof, and the girls will flock to you. Nothing turns a girl off more than a guy who's desperate.

   Oh, yeah, be sure to make them laugh.

   The above was a survey of about ten freshmen women studying English literature. Below is a survey of twenty freshmen girls, all English majors, who were told to choose the three most important aspects from a list they provided. "Kind", "taller than me", and "funny" were the most popular answers. I suspect that the first two garnered the most votes because they were at the top of the list. In every single one of these surveys that I have conducted over the years humor has been found to be one of the most sought after attributes in a prospective partner. 

   Make 'em laugh, and you're halfway up their leg.

   Note: sawayaka, near the bottom of the first column, means "fresh", "refreshing". I suppose it refers to someone who isn't stuffy, gloomy, or introverted. Sociable, but not overly so. Cheerful, but not gratingly optimistic.

   Good luck, lads!