Reading the article, it occured to me that this was an odd and uniquely American debate between those who demand the continued ease of access to guns to protect themselves from a perceived threat of violence and those who seek to restrict that accessibility to guns because they or someone they care for have suffered from real gun violence.

   Sadly, it's often those on the side of further loosening restrictions who win the debate. They're the ones with the guns, after all.

   And if you thought the NRA was over the top, a rival gun rights organization called the Gun Owners of America (GOA) has criticized the NRA for (heaven forbid) compromising on gun rights issues and selling out the gun rights movement.

   I pledge allegience to the Guns of the United States of America and to the Freedom for which they stand, one Nation under Guns, Guns, and more Guns, unrestrictable, unrelinquishable, uninfringible, with assault weapons and ammo for all.

   In his response to the Sandy Hook mass shooting, LaPierre LaPyoo had this, among other malarkey, to say:

   "And here’s another dirty little truth that the media try their best to conceal. There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people. Through vicious, violent video games with names like Bullet Storm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Combat, and Splatterhouse.

   "And here’s one, it’s called Kindergarten Killers. It’s been online for 10 years. How come my research staff can find it, and all of yours couldn’t? Or didn’t want anyone to know you had found it? Add another hurricane, add another natural disaster. I mean we have blood-soaked films out there, like American Psycho, Natural Born Killers. They’re aired like propaganda loops on Splatterdays and every single day."

   So, LaPierre's answer to gun violence is to not restrict access to guns which would be a violation of the Second Amendment, but he's all for restricting freedom of speech because (what?) James Madison was only kidding when he wrote the First Amendment?

   Click this, for a reminder of what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the Second Amendment.

   There's a lot of freedom-luvin' patriots out there who are arming themselves to the teeth out of a fear that the gu'mint is going get 'em and they hell as ain't goin' without a fight. But, even if these crackers had Bradley tanks and RPGs in their arsenals, the government would still kick their arses. 

   Wayne (BoomBoom) LaDerrière, the head of the National Bomb Association, lobbed a verbal grenade at critics following the bombing at the Boston Marathon and calls for tougher bomb-control laws. We have included an excerpt of LaDerrière’s speech here:

   "As spectators, we do everything we can to keep our athletes safe. It is now time for us to assume responsibility for their safety at sporting events. The only way to stop a monster from killing our sports heroes is to be personally involved and invested in a plan of absolute protection. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a bomb is a good guy with a bomb.

   "Now, I can imagine the shocking headlines you'll print tomorrow morning: 'More bombs,' you'll claim, 'are the NBA's answer to everything!' Your implication will be that bombs are evil and have no place in society, much less in our sporting events. But since when did the word 'bomb' automatically become a bad word?

   "A bomb in the hands of a Secret Service agent protecting the President isn't a bad word. A bomb in the hands of a soldier protecting the United States isn't a bad word. And when you hear the glass shattering in your living room at 3 a.m. and call 911, you won't be able to pray hard enough for a bomb in the hands of a good guy to get there fast enough to protect you.

   "So why is the idea of a bomb good when it's used to protect our President or our country or our police; but bad when it's used to protect our athletes in their sporting events?"

   "I call on Congress today to act immediately, to appropriate whatever is necessary to put police officers armed with explosive belts or suicide vests at every major sporting event - and to do it now, to make sure that blanket of Semtex is in place when our athletes return to their next game, match, or race."

   "Before Congress reconvenes, before we engage in any lengthy debate over legislation, regulation or anything else, as soon as our sportsmen and sportswomen return to the field, court or pitch, we need to have every single stadium, gymnasium, court and racetrack in America immediately deploy a protection program proven to work - and by that I mean security armed with grenades, mortars, and plastic explosives, embedded with nuts and bolts and nails.

   "Right now, today, every stadium, gym and aerobics club in the United States should plan meetings with instructors, coaches, administrators, team owners, and local authorities - and draw upon every resource available - to erect a cordon of destruction around our athletes right now."

   "There'll be time for talk and debate later. This is the time, the clock is literally ticking, this is the day for decisive action.

   "We can't wait for the next unspeakable crime to happen before we act. We can't lose precious time debating legislation that won't work. We mustn't allow politics or personal prejudice to divide us. We must act now, never forgetting that bombs don’t kill people, people do."

   Some of the things that I once longed to do, such as becoming an astronaut (seriously), are simply no longer feasible. And some of them, such as living in the south of France, hold no interest for me anymore. Since high school, though, I have continued to hold on tightly to the dream of being a successful novelist. (Please, stop laughing.)[1]

   Many people I have met over the years have also told me that they have dreams, too. But while I cannot imagine my life without that dream of mine leading the way and commanding a good three to five hours a day of my time, most of the people give an insouciant shrug as they watch their dreams slip unceremoniously away.

   One such woman, Akiko, told me years ago of her dream to live in Paris, to be a Parisienne and walk along the Avenue Montaigne with her French poodle in the park, dressed smartly in prêt-à-porter fashions, a Channel bag hanging from her arm, and so on. For a while she was even studying French.

   Over the years, we lost touch as you do. But a few months ago I bumped into her at Ôhori Park.

   Akiko was walking a shibaken. Dressed casually in jeans and a Uniqlo sweatshirt, she was clutching a plastic shopping bag full of dog crap instead of designer bag. She wasn't nearly as talkative as she used to be, and seemed eager to say good-bye and move on. It was sad in a way.

[1] Where this dream came from, I cannot really say. Where many writers started off as bookworms, I was slow to pick up reading, so much so that I almost flunked first grade. I blame this on a dearth of good reading material around me when I was young. It wouldn’t be until high school that I was finally introduced to the “joy” of reading, the gateway drug to literature being J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye.