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   I was showing a young woman my collection of handmade German Christmas ornaments yesterday.

   “And these two,” I said, pointing mit großem Stolz to a large Nußknacker (nutcracker) and Räuchermann (incense smoker), “I got when I was an exchange student in Germany about twenty, no, thirty years ago.”

   “Oh, so they’re vintage!”

   And then I bludgeoned her with the nutcracker. 


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