3. In the Nuts

   Every man believed in his heart of hearts that the human race had strayed too far from its roots, having gone from hunters and gathers to living lives of sedentary consumers of processed foods with ingredients nobody could understand, let alone pronounce, in less than ten thousand years. What else but the crap men had been stuffing themselves with—day in, day out—for decades on end could account for the alarming changes they were witnessing in their virility?

   This suspicion had initially driven a trend in back-to-basics living, where men attempted to “kill their own meat”, which had disastrous consequences: record numbers of men succumbing to the elements or starving to death in the nation’s forests.

   Others opted more sensibly for healthy eating, a move towards simpler, organic foods. People rediscovered their designer kitchens with the poured concrete countertops and cabinets made of reclaimed wood which had until then seldom, if ever, been used for actual cooking. Farmer’s markets featuring organic vegetables and fruits became the norm. Even supermarket chains got into the act, and those which first catered to the new demand flourished. As people prepared more of their own meals, chain restaurants suffered, many going belly up before they could conform to the changing needs of their customers. McDonald’s, once maligned as the epitome of so many lifestyle failings, completely transformed itself and was now the largest seller of vegan burgers. It’s free-range chicken McNuggets served with homemade teriyaki sauce made from non-GM soybeans was also a hit.

   Unfortunately, diet wasn’t the whole story.

   To be sure, the overuse of genetically modified foods, growth hormone, antibiotics, herbicides and pesticides around the turn of the century deserved blame, but the troubling phenomenon was even being observed in cultures where those modern scourges were less pervasive.

   Others pointed at the ubiquity of petrochemicals in the modern world. Plastic had conquered the globe by the end of the twentieth century. There wasn’t anywhere you could go, from the highest mountains in the Himalayas to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and not find bits of plastic waste. Ingested by animals, they were, by and by, consumed by humans. Despite intense lobbying by the North Atlantic Alliance of Petrochemical Corporations (NAACP), the production of plastics for short-term and/or one-off use—such as in shopping bags, toothbrushes, shipping material, and so on—was banned in the 74 member states of the OECD. Though a major coup for environmentalists, the tide of masculinity continued to recede at a distressing rate.

   If environmental concerns did not fully account for what was happening, then perhaps the answer lay in over-population. Indeed, the worst affected countries appeared to be those with the greatest population densities, countries like India and Japan. It was as if Mother Nature was saying in not so unsubtle ways: “ENOUGH!”

   The first to sound the alarm was a Japanese columnist by the name of Maki Fukasawa who in the mid Naughties coined the term sôshoku danshi, (草食男子, herbivore boys), to describe Japanese men in their twenties and thirties, who were passive about women, far more interested in cultivating friendly relationships with the opposite sex rather than trying to conquer them in the bed. These herbivore boys opted for quiet, uncompetitive lifestyles, pursuing hobbies instead of careers. They were, as one reporter wrote, “Metrosexuals without the testosterone.”

   What was first observed in Japan quickly spread throughout Asia, and beyond to Europe and the Americas. Where population density was highest it seemed as if men’s libido, which had driven population and economic growth since time immemorial, had taken a kick square in the balls.

© Aonghas Crowe, 2011-12. All rights reserved. No unauthorized duplication of any kind.

注意：この作品はフィクションです。登場人物、団体等、実在のモノとは一切関係ありません。

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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