The Reverend Elijah Bliksem believed to the very core of his God-given being that he had been sent to the earth to deliver the Lord’s message. And the time to deliver that message was nigh.
The young, charismatic and devilishly handsome pastor of the First Lazarus Episcopal Church located in heart of the nation’s capital personally presided over an all male congregation of some ten thousand “brothers” but headed a much larger confederation of churches located in each of the Federal Reserve’s twelve districts. There was the Second Lazarus Episcopal Church in New York, the Third Lazarus Episcopal Church in Philadelphia, and so on. With his weekly sermons broadcast over every medium imaginable, including Applesoft’s popular iHead™, the Reverend Bliksem reached up to fifty million Keepers of Promises™.
The infrastructure in place, the message honed, Bliksem was getting ready to address his flock from the steps of the Capitol Building. The setting was crucial: he wanted this to be seen as a modern day Sermon on the Mount, a declaration of faith and independence, religious in content, yes, but with important political overtones, too. The Reverend would be speaking for three days straight, from the morning of Good Friday to sundown on Easter Monday, giving an eighty-two hour long homily that even Bliksem himself admitted could be summarized in four simple words: every sperm is sacred.